13. Handsome Ignorant
DoBH – ’23Em
November 18th 2023
I am sorry for letting you think you could treat me like an option,
I was blinded by the illusion of “giving it time,”
I failed to see you were just this—
A self-indulgent, egocentric lover;
With the delusion you could have your cake and eating it too.
I am rare, a gem meant for another’s grasp.
I am bold, my flame unsettles you,
It casts shadows over your game,
Turning you into nothing more than a statue.
Your delusion,
That you could ensnare me with what lies between your legs,
A fragile net that could never hold.
Your surprise,
At my heels fading away despite the love I have for you,
Reveals just how little you truly understand me.
You really don’t know me, do you?
I’ve told you a thousand times,
I will not accept a love steeped in struggle;
I am willing to teach you how to love me,
But if you cannot, I will carry my love elsewhere,
Even if it means nurturing it within myself.
You are shocked at my indifference!
I refused to pour myself out,
Only to be met with empty promises and a demand for more.
I was never your priority,
Though I held hope you’d rise above.
But you clung to victimhood,
Murmuring excuses like “Baby, I’m going through something.”
What about my battles?
What about my trials?
I’ve faced them alone,
Summoning strength to shoulder not only my burdens but yours as well?
Your selfishness is your hallmark,
Your handsomeness cloaking the ignorance within.
Your manipulations lay bare your shallow wit.
Maybe I look dumb right now,
Having played myself in this charade,
But at least I savored fleeting pleasures,
I found moments of passion amidst the chaos,
And importantly I rediscovered my essence,
I recognize her now,
The girl with a good heart,
One deserving of genuine love;
I am certain it awaits me—far from here,
Where love flows freely, untethered by struggle.
For the life’s scales in their infinite wisdom,
Always find balance in yin and yang.
Deborah Nyamu,
DoBH,
2025.
